Post by connieaz on Oct 7, 2008 10:18:53 GMT -5
NO NURSING HOME FOR US. WE ARE CHECKING INTO THE HOLIDAY INN!
WITH THE AVERAGE COST FOR A NURSING HOME CARE COSTING $188.00 PER
DAY, THERE IS A BETTER WAY WHEN WE GET OLD & FEEBLE.
We have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a
combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per
night. That leaves $138.77 a day for: Breakfast, lunch and dinner in
any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and
special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout
room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and
razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
$5 WORTH OF TIPS A DAY WILL HAVE THE ENTIRE STAFF SCRAMBLING TO
HELP YOU. THEY TREAT YOU LIKE A CUSTOMER, NOT A PATIENT.
There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The
handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
TO MEET OTHER NICE PEOPLE, CALL A CHURCH BUS ON SUNDAYS.
FOR A CHANGE OF SCENERY, TAKE THE AIRPORT SHUTTLE BUS AND EAT AT
ONE OF THE NICE RESTAURANTS THERE.WHILE YOU\'RE AT THE AIRPORT, FLY
SOMEWHERE. OTHERWISE, THE CASH KEEPS BUILDING UP.
IT TAKES MONTHS TO GET INTO DECENT NURSING HOMES. HOLIDAY INN WILL
TAKE YOUR RESERVATION TODAY. AND YOU ARE NOT STUCK IN ONE PLACE
FOREVER, YOU CAN MOVE FROM INN TO INN, OR EVEN FROM CITY TO CITY.WANT
TO SEE HAWAII? THEY HAVE A HOLIDAY INN THERE TOO.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No
problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
THE INN HAS A NIGHT SECURITY PERSON AND DAILY ROOM SERVICE. THE
MAID CHECKS TO SEE IF YOU ARE OK. IF NOT, THEY WILL CALL THE
UNDERTAKER OR AN AMBULANCE. IF YOU FALL AND BREAK A HIP, MEDICARE
WILL PAY FOR THE HIP, AND HOLIDAY INN WILL UPGRADE YOU TO A SUITE FOR
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
AND NO WORRIES ABOUT VISITS FROM FAMILY. THEY WILL ALWAYS BE GLAD
TO FIND YOU, AND PROBABLY CHECK IN FOR A FEW DAYS MINI-VACATION.
THE GRAND KIDS CAN USE THE POOL.
_WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FOR?_
__
_SO, WHEN WE REACH THAT GOLDEN AGE,_
we'll face it with a grin.
Just forward all our email to:
