Post by kenaz on Apr 4, 2016 22:45:37 GMT -5
Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my
age, I don't really worry as much as I use to.
If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs, and hops, and only lives15 years, while a tortoise doesn't
run, and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us
to exercise? I don't think
so.
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats are mostly replaced with prunes and all-bran.
3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're a fire hydrant.
8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play
chess.
15. It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They're everywhere.
16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I
go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what am I "here after. I . . .
Excuse me I think I dozed off for a minute. Was I saying anything?".
18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
20. Did is send you this message to you, or did I get it from you?
