Post by maryaz on Mar 13, 2015 16:28:01 GMT -5
Been a longggg time. I cannot even remember which section to use. Lol!
I put the following post on CI. Please understand that this was a lot to do. I been trying to do this for quite a long time. I miss all of you and think of you a lot. I cannot type separate messages.
I was asked to post an update. It has been a while but here it is. I am still around. I am blessed to still be living at home. After 2 years, 3 and half months I got off Hospice care July 18, 2014. My husband, Joe, died May 10, 2012. Lot of stress for long time as he fought cancer. I had to adjust to being on my own without hospice. I got to like it for the most part. Not been easy but doable. I seemed to go up and down. I overdo a day and take 2 more days to recover. Each year slows me down. I still tend to move to fast and not slow down.
2015 has really been rough. I am dragging more. I would qualify to go back on hospice but not yet ready for that. The first time I was on hospice I thought it was 'palliative' care. After about 2 years I found out it was 'end of life care'. Because of this I think I had hope and that did help me to improve finally. This time 'hope' feels dim and I am not ready yet. Somedays I barely hang in there but if I can, I still want to try. I had a great group when I was on hospice and nothing against them. I just do not want to have the reminder yet.
I am so bad off that they cannot even do tests and some treatments on me. Last year was seeing a hemotologist for a while concerning blood work. This past October a small growth in my right lung which I had for several years, grew to 4 centimeters, which they then refer to as a mass (cancer). The 4 to 5 in October became 5 to 6 in February. I have no real signs of it unless it causes some of my SOB but I have always had trouble with SOB. We are checking it every 3 months. My Pulmonary Dr feels the COPD will get me before the cancer. They cannot do a biopsy.
I like being in my own home and familiar. I also think by only seeing a few people I am not as exposed to colds and such. I could not handle that kind of sick alone. When I went to rehab in the early years of this, I caught a cold a couple times and without Joe I would not have made it. I spent a week in bed. Some care homes don't do Oxygen well either. Home feels safer. I have a bath lady twice a week. Not the best setup since hospice because I have no one if she cannot come. Hard to find someone. The hospice social worker found this woman for me. She is not a CNA. I have a cleaning lady every other week. My Sister-in-law comes over if I need and usually a few times a month. I do have LOX and my setting on 6 actually gives me an output of 5 ½.
My 11 year old computer finally broke down and I lost all my email addresses. My email address is still the same and I have a new computer. If you used to email me once in while feel free. I do not get to my computer every day though. My hands are arithis and cannot type a lot but I can be brief. This is an exception.
Excuse my foggy memory. Someone I emailed had cancer and not sure I remember exactly who. I got a couple people mixed up.
I think of everyone that I have known on the COPD boards and so thankful for the friendship and information shared. I miss it and I miss the people. I am afraid to even think of how many I may have missed that have passed on. I have not been reading either. Maybe once or twice in a year. After I get this posted I am going for a nap. I move slow and this took me a while to do. I will get back soon, I hope.
Thank you all for being on this board. Breath easy.
Maryaz
I put the following post on CI. Please understand that this was a lot to do. I been trying to do this for quite a long time. I miss all of you and think of you a lot. I cannot type separate messages.
I was asked to post an update. It has been a while but here it is. I am still around. I am blessed to still be living at home. After 2 years, 3 and half months I got off Hospice care July 18, 2014. My husband, Joe, died May 10, 2012. Lot of stress for long time as he fought cancer. I had to adjust to being on my own without hospice. I got to like it for the most part. Not been easy but doable. I seemed to go up and down. I overdo a day and take 2 more days to recover. Each year slows me down. I still tend to move to fast and not slow down.
2015 has really been rough. I am dragging more. I would qualify to go back on hospice but not yet ready for that. The first time I was on hospice I thought it was 'palliative' care. After about 2 years I found out it was 'end of life care'. Because of this I think I had hope and that did help me to improve finally. This time 'hope' feels dim and I am not ready yet. Somedays I barely hang in there but if I can, I still want to try. I had a great group when I was on hospice and nothing against them. I just do not want to have the reminder yet.
I am so bad off that they cannot even do tests and some treatments on me. Last year was seeing a hemotologist for a while concerning blood work. This past October a small growth in my right lung which I had for several years, grew to 4 centimeters, which they then refer to as a mass (cancer). The 4 to 5 in October became 5 to 6 in February. I have no real signs of it unless it causes some of my SOB but I have always had trouble with SOB. We are checking it every 3 months. My Pulmonary Dr feels the COPD will get me before the cancer. They cannot do a biopsy.
I like being in my own home and familiar. I also think by only seeing a few people I am not as exposed to colds and such. I could not handle that kind of sick alone. When I went to rehab in the early years of this, I caught a cold a couple times and without Joe I would not have made it. I spent a week in bed. Some care homes don't do Oxygen well either. Home feels safer. I have a bath lady twice a week. Not the best setup since hospice because I have no one if she cannot come. Hard to find someone. The hospice social worker found this woman for me. She is not a CNA. I have a cleaning lady every other week. My Sister-in-law comes over if I need and usually a few times a month. I do have LOX and my setting on 6 actually gives me an output of 5 ½.
My 11 year old computer finally broke down and I lost all my email addresses. My email address is still the same and I have a new computer. If you used to email me once in while feel free. I do not get to my computer every day though. My hands are arithis and cannot type a lot but I can be brief. This is an exception.
Excuse my foggy memory. Someone I emailed had cancer and not sure I remember exactly who. I got a couple people mixed up.
I think of everyone that I have known on the COPD boards and so thankful for the friendship and information shared. I miss it and I miss the people. I am afraid to even think of how many I may have missed that have passed on. I have not been reading either. Maybe once or twice in a year. After I get this posted I am going for a nap. I move slow and this took me a while to do. I will get back soon, I hope.
Thank you all for being on this board. Breath easy.
Maryaz
