Post by kellier on Sept 21, 2009 13:59:24 GMT -5
Hi all,
I was wondering around and found this site. I am 47 and recently diagnosed with severe bollous emphysema/copd. Until my diagnoses I really didn't have much of an idea I had such severe problems. I was a smoker who had chest colds twice a year. That's how I was diagnosed, I went in for antibiotics for my cold and had a X-ray that found spots. The rest they say is history.
Here is a little about my life the last few months.
My husband had always wanted me to quit smoking. We were married 26 years and from day one he tried and tried to get me to quit. There were times that my smoking caused problems with our marriage, but my relationship with smoking never stopped.
Flash forward 26 years to May of this year. After struggling with yet another respitory infection my husband tried to "lay down the law".... He told me something like.....
"You're breathing is terrible, I lay there at night and wonder if you will quit breathing on this night... Do you really want this to be the reason we lose everything including our home because of hospital bills? Do you really love me that little?"
Three days after those comments I had my first diagnoses of Emphysema/Copd. The diagnoses just got worse from there and moved onto Severe.
So with my head down in shame, scared to death of my new diagnoses I came home to face my husband.
In the next two months it became evident that I would have to have some kind of insurance to be treated for this disease. (I have none and my husband made too much $$ for me to qualify for any help) I had already started telling the doctors I can't afford that treatment, or those perscriptions are too expensive. The doctor mentioned lung reduction surgery and transplant and I knew I would have to decline treatment because of $$.
So I went to one of our friends (who is an attorney) and asked him to help me file for divorce. Understand that this is a last resort. We have thought and thought about this. When I said those vows 26 years ago I meant them.
The papers are now filled out and will be final by the end of next week.
I have had a really difficult time accepting all of this.
Our attorney friend told me that I am giving up everything and he wanted me to be sure of what I was doing. You see in order to qualify for medical help I can't own anything. I now am on his retirement, so that if the unthinkable happened to him I would continue to get his retirement... Not anymore. My named had to be removed. I cannot own anything. So my name had to be removed from the bank accounts, car and house titles.. everything.
As of next Friday I have nothing. I have worked all my life for nothing. It's like I never existed. I now can't write a check, use a credit card or debit card, nothing.
It's not just those things that have been bothering me. We had to remove our wedding rings. I have not had my ring off for any reason, and now it's in a jewlery box, the tan line and indent is still on my finger from 26 years of wear.
So needless to say I have been am emotional wreck this week.
He left me this note this morning,
Kellie,
A ring is just a ring. In time when the initial part of this facade is over we can put back on our rings. A ring says nothing of what is in my heart and my promise to grow old with you.
If I am not treating you special enough, tell me. I love you and want you to be sure of that.
He is a special guy and now you can see why we were married 26 years.
I am now in the process of applying for social security.
I was wondering around and found this site. I am 47 and recently diagnosed with severe bollous emphysema/copd. Until my diagnoses I really didn't have much of an idea I had such severe problems. I was a smoker who had chest colds twice a year. That's how I was diagnosed, I went in for antibiotics for my cold and had a X-ray that found spots. The rest they say is history.
Here is a little about my life the last few months.
My husband had always wanted me to quit smoking. We were married 26 years and from day one he tried and tried to get me to quit. There were times that my smoking caused problems with our marriage, but my relationship with smoking never stopped.
Flash forward 26 years to May of this year. After struggling with yet another respitory infection my husband tried to "lay down the law".... He told me something like.....
"You're breathing is terrible, I lay there at night and wonder if you will quit breathing on this night... Do you really want this to be the reason we lose everything including our home because of hospital bills? Do you really love me that little?"
Three days after those comments I had my first diagnoses of Emphysema/Copd. The diagnoses just got worse from there and moved onto Severe.
So with my head down in shame, scared to death of my new diagnoses I came home to face my husband.
In the next two months it became evident that I would have to have some kind of insurance to be treated for this disease. (I have none and my husband made too much $$ for me to qualify for any help) I had already started telling the doctors I can't afford that treatment, or those perscriptions are too expensive. The doctor mentioned lung reduction surgery and transplant and I knew I would have to decline treatment because of $$.
So I went to one of our friends (who is an attorney) and asked him to help me file for divorce. Understand that this is a last resort. We have thought and thought about this. When I said those vows 26 years ago I meant them.
The papers are now filled out and will be final by the end of next week.
I have had a really difficult time accepting all of this.
Our attorney friend told me that I am giving up everything and he wanted me to be sure of what I was doing. You see in order to qualify for medical help I can't own anything. I now am on his retirement, so that if the unthinkable happened to him I would continue to get his retirement... Not anymore. My named had to be removed. I cannot own anything. So my name had to be removed from the bank accounts, car and house titles.. everything.
As of next Friday I have nothing. I have worked all my life for nothing. It's like I never existed. I now can't write a check, use a credit card or debit card, nothing.
It's not just those things that have been bothering me. We had to remove our wedding rings. I have not had my ring off for any reason, and now it's in a jewlery box, the tan line and indent is still on my finger from 26 years of wear.
So needless to say I have been am emotional wreck this week.
He left me this note this morning,
Kellie,
A ring is just a ring. In time when the initial part of this facade is over we can put back on our rings. A ring says nothing of what is in my heart and my promise to grow old with you.
If I am not treating you special enough, tell me. I love you and want you to be sure of that.
He is a special guy and now you can see why we were married 26 years.
I am now in the process of applying for social security.