Post by sue on May 8, 2009 7:11:19 GMT -5
On Being a Grandparent...
> >
> >
> >
> > 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the
> > watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done
> > many times before. After she applied her lipstick and
> > started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma, you
> > forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!' I will
> > probably never put lipstick on again without thinking
> > about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
> >
> > 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
> > Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him,
> > '62.' He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,
> > 'Did you start at 1?'
> >
> > 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
> > changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to
> > wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and
> > more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she
> > threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
> > putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left
> > the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling
> > voice, 'Who was THAT?'
> >
> > 4. A grandmother was telli ng her little granddaughter what
> > her own childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on
> > a pond; I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree
> > in our front yard; we rode our pony; we picked wild
> > raspberries in the woods.' The little girl was
> > wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, 'I
> > sure do wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
> >
> > 5. My grandson was visiting one day when h
> > e asked, 'Grandma, do you know how you and God are
> > alike?' I mentally polished my halo and I said, 'No,
> > how are we alike?'' You're both old,' he
> > replied.
> >
> > 6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
> > grandfather's word processor. She told him she was
> > writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked.
> > 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't
> > read!'
> >
> > 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her
> > colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out
> > something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and
> > was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At
> > last she headed for the door, saying, 'Grandma, I think
> > you should try to figure out some of these yourself!'
> >
> > 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,
> > we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from
> > attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us
> > in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered,
> > 'It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming
> > after us with flashlights.'
> >
> > 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
> > replied,20'I'm not sure.' 'Look in your
> > underwear,Grandpa,' he advised. 'Mine says I'm
> > four to six.'
> >
> > 10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
> > grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to
> > make babies today.' The grandmother, more than a
> > little surprised, tried to keep her cool. 'That's
> > interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?
> > ''It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You
> > just change 'y' to 'i' and add
> > 'es'.'
> >
> > 11
> > . Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a
> > public servant,' said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
> > 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.' The
> > teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 'Don't
> > you know what pregnant means?' she asked.
> > 'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It
> > means carrying a child.'
> >
> > 12. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon
> > full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
> > Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog.
> > The children started discussing the dog's duties.'
> > They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child.
> > 'No,' said another. 'He's just for good
> > luck.' A third child brought the argument to a close.
> > 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find
> > the the fire hydrants.'
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the
> > watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done
> > many times before. After she applied her lipstick and
> > started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma, you
> > forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!' I will
> > probably never put lipstick on again without thinking
> > about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
> >
> > 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
> > Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him,
> > '62.' He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,
> > 'Did you start at 1?'
> >
> > 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
> > changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to
> > wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and
> > more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she
> > threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
> > putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left
> > the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling
> > voice, 'Who was THAT?'
> >
> > 4. A grandmother was telli ng her little granddaughter what
> > her own childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on
> > a pond; I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree
> > in our front yard; we rode our pony; we picked wild
> > raspberries in the woods.' The little girl was
> > wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, 'I
> > sure do wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
> >
> > 5. My grandson was visiting one day when h
> > e asked, 'Grandma, do you know how you and God are
> > alike?' I mentally polished my halo and I said, 'No,
> > how are we alike?'' You're both old,' he
> > replied.
> >
> > 6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
> > grandfather's word processor. She told him she was
> > writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked.
> > 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't
> > read!'
> >
> > 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her
> > colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out
> > something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and
> > was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At
> > last she headed for the door, saying, 'Grandma, I think
> > you should try to figure out some of these yourself!'
> >
> > 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,
> > we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from
> > attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us
> > in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered,
> > 'It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming
> > after us with flashlights.'
> >
> > 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
> > replied,20'I'm not sure.' 'Look in your
> > underwear,Grandpa,' he advised. 'Mine says I'm
> > four to six.'
> >
> > 10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
> > grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to
> > make babies today.' The grandmother, more than a
> > little surprised, tried to keep her cool. 'That's
> > interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?
> > ''It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You
> > just change 'y' to 'i' and add
> > 'es'.'
> >
> > 11
> > . Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a
> > public servant,' said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
> > 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.' The
> > teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 'Don't
> > you know what pregnant means?' she asked.
> > 'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It
> > means carrying a child.'
> >
> > 12. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon
> > full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
> > Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog.
> > The children started discussing the dog's duties.'
> > They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child.
> > 'No,' said another. 'He's just for good
> > luck.' A third child brought the argument to a close.
> > 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find
> > the the fire hydrants.'
> >
